A Winter's Tale:
Are you sitting comfortably?
Then I'll begin...
With a busy day ahead of me, and no chance to drive yesterday due to the fog, I only had one chance to play today.
So just after 9am I did the motoring equivalent of tip-toeing out of the driveway and worked my way quietly up my street.
I then stopped to double check my rear lights were working as I definitely needed to be seen as it was a murky morning.
My first stop gave me a chance to show just how murky it was.
There was enough moisture in the air for it to collect on the aero screens.
But it wasn't actually raining, as the passenger seat remained dry.
A group of older men out for a walk stopped for a chat and to take a few photos of the car themselves.
I was just waving goodbye to them and about to head out of the car park when a police car pulled it.
They looked over at me as they passed and I gave them a friendly nod and smile as I pulled away.
Less than a mile later I spot two people walking side by side on the road ahead (as there was no pavement).
No problem I thought, I eased up and as this was a double centre line stretch was contemplating stopping if I couldn't pass them safely.
Next thing the older bloke stepped behind his mate and tripped over a branch and half fell into the road.
Again, no problem, as I just pulled up to give him a chance to find his footing.
What happened next defies belief…
As I crawled past them, this bloke started shouting and swearing at me, complete with finger pointing and leaning into the cockpit.
Apparently I was driving like a demon and should slow down before I killed someone, etc.
Now I must confess this caught me a bit off guard.
Not least because if I had been driving like that then I would have run him over and he wouldn't actually be standing there swearing at me.
Now I've lived in London long enough to know you can't win an argument with a loony and I should have driven off straight away.
But the dogs abuse he continued to give me did start to wind me up and I drove a bit further up the road and pulled over at the next available safe spot.
I sat there for a minute seriously considering getting out of the car and running after him to see if he would swear this much at me "face to face".
Please Note: This is never a good idea, so don't try this at home!
Thankfully, at this point the police car from the car park reached this bloke who flagged them down and I guess told them what a lunatic I was.
So I just pulled away slowly, as I figured I knew what was coming next, so a short drive would help calm me down a bit.
Sure enough, the police car followed me for a bit before the blue lights came on and I was pulled over.
Now I rode motorcycles for almost 20 years and two things have always worked in my favour when I got stopped.
First - Be basically 'legal', so I never rode without tax, insurance, MOT, a bike registered in my name and I don't drink and drive.
Second - Be nice, the police have a job to do and most of the time I was stopped to check I wasn't on a stolen bike.
( Which I always appreciated, as some
stole my first motorcycle. )
Note: This was in the days before number plate recognition software, so carrying your documents also made sense.
Anyway, back to this morning and I switched of the engine and hopped out to have a chat.
I said they may have heard an interesting story about my driving that was a long way from the truth.
I pointed to the car and explained that it had very little in the way of modern safely features.
So I did not drive it like a demented lunatic, especially on misty days with damp road surfaces.
I also mentioned that he was only able to abuse me because I had safely pulled up in front of him with no drama whatsoever.
The officers said that they had already figured out he was a bit of an "excitable" gentleman.
They also said that his story of my speed and his ability to talk to me about my speed didn't quite add up.
However, I couldn't help but smile when they then said…
"Anyway, enough about him. Tell us about the car." 
So we had a great chat before I headed off on my way.
I continued to just drive around enjoying the journey before eventually arriving in the Sainsbury's car park just before 10am.
I'd promised to do a big shop on the way back, so had to put stuff in the boot as well as the passenger foot wells.
( HSBC bag is full of tools. )
By the time I got home, I'd racked up another 20+ miles and had just had enough time to get ready for an early family pub lunch.
Followed by a trip to the West End to see 'Matilda', which was my sister's Christmas gift to us.
I'm now going to sit down and have a quiet pint after what has been a rather eventful day.
Until next time, take care, Paul.
