MadaboutKitcars

Siezed tighter than a Scotsman at a bar with an eighty year old virgin playing with a ducks arse!

And breathe...

Okay, I have completed the brake fluid flush. It went very well except for one small snagging point that I finally overcame through use of WD40, GT85 and Molgrips.

Brake warning light kept flickering on and off for a few days. Because it went out when I hit the brakes and I knew the pads were okay I diagnosed low brake fluid levels.

As I haven't changed the brake fluid since I had the car I decided to do a full brake fluid flush. This meant buying some brake fluid and a flushing kit.

I had to buy a pair of axle stands as well because last time I had the car up on stands on the drive there was an issue with gravity caused by the sloping drive. Having had to jack the car off my legs once before I decided new stronger axle stands would be a good idea.

20171118_114029 by WCA!, on Flickr

This time, to save my legs, I tried parking across the slope.
20171118_114051 by WCA!, on Flickr

You have to do the back passenger side, then back driver side, then front passenger and then front drivers.

BMW decided that they would make the jacking point and axle stand point the same place so there was no way to jack up the car normally and place the axle stands. Instead you stick a trolley jack under the rear diff and go from there.

The slope didn't do wonders for the jacking angle but there was a bigger problem. This shows the trolley jack at max extension and with the car wobbling precariously on the lift. The left wheel barely leaves the ground.
20171118_132226 by WCA!, on Flickr

I decided the safest and sensible way forward was to wedge a bit of pallet wood between the jack and the car to get the extra inches of lift.
20171118_132652 by WCA!, on Flickr

It worked
20171118_133102 by WCA!, on Flickr

The car was now in the air at the rear. So now lets look at the bleed kit and see what it contains. There are a selection of lids to fit the master cylinder (2nd largest worked for me) a selection of clear bleed pipes (middle size fitted for me) and the other bits all seemed to make sense.
20171118_123541 by WCA!, on Flickr

Let's fit the kit!

Identify the brake master reservoir
20171118_124533 by WCA!, on Flickr

Clean it a bit with some baby wipes to prevent crap getting into the brake fluid
20171118_125707 by WCA!, on Flickr

Test fit the kit (really easy) and pressure test before adding any fluid
20171118_130433 by WCA!, on Flickr

The pressure is provided by letting the spare down to 20psi and then connected that
20171118_130216 by WCA!, on Flickr

No pressure leaks so add some fluid and connect it all back together
20171118_135018 by WCA!, on Flickr

At the wheel end identify the bleed nipple (tee hee, I said nipple) and squirt penetrating oil all over it. This is the dark bit on the top right of the caliper.

20171118_133934 by WCA!, on Flickr

Attach the correct pipe and feed it into a collection vessel. I just grabbed the nearest bottle.
20171118_135030 by WCA!, on Flickr

Ease off the nipple taking care not to round it off* and some pretty shitty brown stuff will start flowing.
20171118_135822 by WCA!, on Flickr

Quite soon the fluid will be a lovely clear gold or what ever colour fluid you are using. I saw a recomendation to change the colour of the brake fluid each time you do this so the change is more obvious. Might try that next time if I remember.

Tighten up the nipple (titter) and move on to the next wheel. Do the wheels in this order : back passenger side, back driver side, front passenger and finally front driver side. It is all to do with the distance between the master cylinder and the brake caliper.

*My brake nipples (I had stopped even smiling at the word by now) were totally seized. It would have been easier to hold the nipple and rotate the car.

I would STRONGLEY recommend that you buy 4 new brake nipples before starting this job. My nipples are shredded (giggle) after this work and will need replacing next time for certain.

Anyway, the brakes are still great and there is no warning light. Several stops from over 100mph (private road obviously) shows now fade or any problems.

Wear gloves and brake fluid is crap for your skin.

So, if I got the instructions correct, you lube up the nipples, the stick your pipe in the collection container?

P's this is timely for me if I need to change the brake pads.

Pps in the USA it is fine to say nipples, but don't say teat.

you lube up the nipples, the stick your pipe in the collection container

Don't forget to fit the pressure kit with the new fluid at the master end but basically yes, it is an easy job.

I reckon that without the sticky teat issue it would have been about 30 minutes all done. Nearly three hours to do a 30 minute task got right on my tits though

"you lube up the nipples, the stick your pipe in the collection container"

Oh, my!

I like to break the nipples with a 6 sided deep socket, less chance of rounding them off. Once cracked you can use a spanner.
You can get vacuum bleeder kits on eBay for less than £15, much easier and quicker to use.

+1 on the vacuum bleeders...
And, a deep socket.

It was only £18 for the pressure kit which seemed very simple to use.

I wish I had thought of the deep socket. It would have been worth buying the two sizes to save the hassle. I forgot to mention in the write up that the front and back brakes have different size nipples.

If you are going to replace the nipples you can buy speed bleeders. They have a ball bearing in them, crack the speed bleeder and pump the brake pedal, it will pump the brake fluid out but will not allow air to enter on the return stroke.
A worthwhile investment if you are going to keep the car.

Jag - good advice. Unfortunately I was not reading it as au was on another website ordering new normal nipples. Maybe next time