The Rules of Kit Car Building Part 2
Rule 20: There is no such thing as too much power
If you feel this rule needs elucidation, you need to start again at the beginning of the rules.
Rule 20a: More power than traction is the correct way around
Taking rule 24 into account, you should always have more power than available traction, and you should moderate the power using your right foot. If you don’t have this, you can’t have flamboyance. Any builder who decides to listen to the nagging non-builder voice that thinks there is too much power does not deserve the accolade “Balls the size of space hoppers”(3). This was first awarded to the head of Bugatti when I imagine he said to his design team: “no, really, 1000 bhp. I mean it. That’s what we should have. Now, off you fuck and make it happen”
Rule 21: With great welding power, comes a need for new breakers
If you’re welding be sure to power your welder properly. Get an electrician in. If you really observe the spirit and not just the law of being a builder then go and and get qualified as an electrician first. If the appliances in your house start behaving weirdly, then odds are you’re inducting current into the household wiring(1) which is bad. If you keep tripping your breaker then you need to get a different class of breaker designed to hold the surge current longer. Ideally, get your electrician to fit you a 45A socket to the wall; it looks very professional and is designed for the current.
Rule 22: Spend your money wisely – observe the law of diminishing returns
Just as Rule 18 tells you to not cover your car in adhesive and crash it through Halfords, and rule 20 tells you to get all the power you can, rule 21 tells you that you can get faster without throwing loads of money at the wrong problem. For instance: a days tuition will cost you £200 and a dry-sump kit will cost you £1000 (minimum). Which will make you faster and more confident? That’s right – 5 days of track time with a tutor rather than some nice alloy fittings. Of course, if you have a BEC and need a dry sump, this comes under required shiny.
Rule 23: The Law of Shiny
There’s no reason why what you do shouldn’t look really good. If you’re joining hose A onto thing B, then do it with Aeroquip fittings; you will look like you know what you’re doing, and one never knows, you actually may know what you’re doing. Rule 5 tells you when you may need a new tool, but The Law of Shiny means you shouldn’t just go out and buy one new spanner if there’s a nice 86 piece professional set available. If a big set doesn’t suit you then the temporary loss of one spanner is the gateway you need to buy those five ratchet spanners you have been hankering after.
Rule 24 – Cat Litter isn’t just for Cats
I am always amazed at just how much 2 litres of blood can cover a wall and somehow attract the attention of the authorities. Similarly, 3 litres of engine oil really covers the floor and gets everywhere. The only way to realistically get all this oil up without rolling a cat in it is to soak it up with cat litter. Use the clay fullers earth type, not the wood type. Give it a while and then brush it up. Any remaining oil either gets fresh litter or use something like jizer to rinse it away. Interestingly, you have to be careful how you apply Rule 6. Using a Dyson to get the litter-dust up just means you need to buy a new Dyson.
Rule 25 – Know Your Definitions
It is crucial you can understand your technical terms at a fundamental level. For instance, understeer is when you go through the wall frontwards. Oversteer is when you go through the wall facing backwards. Power is how fast you go through the wall, and torque is how much of the wall you take with you (2).
Rule 26 – Choose Your Tyres Carefully
With a front drive car and careful tyre selection it is possible to fill the cabin with creamy white tyre smoke, credibility is given to a cabin so full that side windows need to be dropped slightly to allow the escape of just enough smoke to enable forward vision. I have found that Michelin Pilot Sports are the tyre of choice here as the level of smoke is high, colour white and consistency is thick. Rear drive cars are a different matter. Pungency is much less of an issue as the smoke trails behind the car so removing passenger participation.
Rule 27 – Choose the right fuel
Unfortunately, you aren’t just allowed to buy avgas to chuck into your pride and joy, so you must seek alternatives. The better the fuel, the more power (see rule 20). The best you can buy from the forecourt is Shell Optimax but a true builder doesn’t settle there. He looks to improve it again. At this point, you should be looking at an octane booster. Let’s face it, anything you’re allowed to buy but is so toxic that it can’t be sent through the post must be good. Only then do you have fuel. If you’re thinking of going for diesel, just throw your keys away and walk. Go and have a good look at yourself. If you choose this path, you’ll wash and wash and never feel clean.
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